Best friend x Good friend
by Thais Uchiha
Summary: "Sirius are we going to have the whole 'why it's wrong to kidnap people' talk again?"   Everyone has seen those good friend x best friend things right? Well, here are some small stories showing how Sirius is a best friend, not a good friend.
1. How James finally got Lily

**A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.**

"I, the amazing wonderful brilliant awesome Sirius Black, have the solution to all of your problems! Got a furry problem? I'm your guy, let's all become animagus. Got greasy disgusting hair? I'm your guy, I'll always have a cleaning charm at the tip of my wand and, with just a small extra, you get your hair in Gryffindor colors!"

"Well, this is all very entertaining, but would you care to clarify why exactly you're interrupting my moping for?"

"Weren't you listening to me just now? I have the solution to your problems!"

"Who said I have problems?"

"Dude, you just complained because I interrupted your moping. If that doesn't scream problem, I don't know what does!"

"Oh then please enlighten me as to what exactly my problem is."

"Obviously, you're mulling over the fact that Lily doesn't like you, Lily doesn't want you, Lily doesn't love you."

"I-I was not! I was simply reflecting upon what my next move would be."

"Hmm, keep telling yourself that. Anyway, back to solving your Lily problem "

"I don't have a Lily problem!"

"Shut up! As I was saying, I have the solution to your Lily problem. Peter is watching it right now."

"Peter is watching my solution…Why do I have a feeling that you've done something terribly stupid?"

"I have absolutely no idea. Now, off we go!"

… … … … … … … … … … … … …

"Oh my god! I can't believe you! Please tell me that that isn't what I think it is."

"Dude, it's a Lily shaped crate with a drawing of Lily on its front and LILY INSIDE written on it. What else could it be? I know that the drawing isn't that good, Remus did it after all, but I think it would be fairly obvious."

"Are you stupid? Can she even breathe in there?"

"Course she can, see these little holes? That's what they're there for. Stop getting off track, did you like your present?"

"Sirius are we going to have the whole 'why it's wrong to kidnap people' talk again?"

"But it's for a good reason!"

"You always say that!"

"Because it's always true!"

"Your definition of a good reason is _very _loose. Now, please let her go and explain to her that I had absolutely no part in this."

"You're no fun."

"I have to go back to my mo- planning. Leave me alone and _let her go_."

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

AN: Kinda abrupt ending, I know, but the story would have just dragged on otherwise.


	2. How Sirius got James to admit the truth

**A ****good friend helps you up when you fall down. A best friend laughs and trips you again. Or sits on you back and forces you to stay down...**

**Joint with it: ****A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much?"**

James, Peter, Sirius and Remus were running through the corridors of Hogwarts, almost late for transfiguration class. James was still putting his clothes on as he had deemed unhygienic not to take a shower as the others had done. He was running with his shirt unbuttoned, hopping on one foot to try to put his shoes on, and trying to tie his tie.

Let's just say he wasn't doing very well, after a minute of trying to do all that he managed to put both of his shoes on, but in the wrong feet, button up his shirt, of course missing a few buttons and tying his tie to his belly. Well, one would imagine that it was hard to run with your shoes switched up and it was. James ended up falling on his face in a mess of books, limbs and clothes.

Peter and Sirius both noticed that he fell (Remus was so worried about getting to transfiguration that he wouldn't have noticed if an elephant tripped, much less James), Peter went back to help him up while Sirius turned around, started running backwards and yelled:

"Run much, Potter?"

"Screw you, Black, it's your fault we're late anyway!"

Peter just sighed and extended a hand to help James up, he took it, pulled himself up, tidied up his clothes and started running to try to catch up with Sirius. When he did, he was still fixing his tie so he didn't notice when Sirius stuck a foot out. He tripped again and started swearing at Sirius for his "stupid annoyingness and crappy sportsmanship"

"What sportsmanship? We aren't playing any games." Sirius asked, amused.

"Well… you still have crappy sportsmanship!" James replied, thoroughly annoyed.

"I'll show you crappy sportsmanship!"

And, after that inspiring remark, Sirius plopped down on top of James, and there he stayed until James admitted his superior sportsmanship and all around awesomeness.


	3. How Lily starts pondering her sexuality

**A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"**

Sirius was a little bit nervous, who wouldn't be if they had to say what he had to say to that fire spitting evil girl, but he reasoned that if he was hexed too badly she would get a detention, he had wanted to make that goody two shoes get a detention ever since his first year. But, despite those reassuring thoughts, he was still nervous as hell.

"So…Lily, flower, love of my… err… of my best friend's life."

"What do you want, Black?"

"Umm…Nothing much, it's just that…Well… Me and my pals, except for James of course, we have a theory"

"I'm sure it's a very good theory Black, but I don't care and I have better things to do then sit here and listen to you rambling."

Asshe started to get up Sirius panicked and just spit out what he came here to say.

"It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

Silence. Awkward silence. Really awkward silence. Which was now becoming a long really awkward silence.

"What?"

"Well, as much as it pains me to say it, Jamesie is one great catch and you've been refusing him for almost a year now. That's only possible reason I could think of and let's face it; you're always pretty chummy with that Marlene girl."

" Ewwww, that's disgusting, Marlene is my friend, what is wrong with you? That's the first thing that you think of? Did it even occur to you that I don't want to date Potter because he's an arrogant bully? Or because he has dated more girls then I could count?"

"Actually, yes it did. But then I realized that those were all fake reasons and that James really isn't that person anymore. You're just kidding yourself when you say that stuff. So, I thought 'Well, why would she resist this idea so much?' and the answer was staring me right in the face, but I hadn't noticed that you were still in the closet so I apologize for making you confront it before you're ready"

"Umm…Oh…Wow Black this is really interesting and all, but I've got to… do , I have to do rounds"

"Liar, you're just trying to avoid the truth, but it's ok, I'll let it go…for now."

Cue creepy evil laughter.


End file.
